I'm Pissed at Myself

Ok I just had a prac and my lab coat is bloody. fine it’s not that bad.. just some blood on the sleeves but I’m sooo lazy.. I dun want to wash my coat….

The prac was on joints… so we got to examine fresh horse forelimb and hindlimb.. yea so we’re suppose to see how the joints work.. feel the difference b2n ligaments, tendons, muscles etc… identify certain structures.. and basically do anything we want with the limb. Cut here, cut there.. I sound barbaric don’t I? Haha. But seriously that’s what they tell us to do. They say that since the limb is going to the bin after this, make use of it to like investigate anything u want. Very diff from last year’s rat prac where the science pple warned us not to fool around with the rats and just stick to what we’re suppose to do. Are vets sadistic? Hmmm…

But well. I feel kinda like an outcast with my prac group. They’re also my syndicate grp for a project I haveta do. Going by the trend, I’ll be having them in my group for the next 2 years at least. They’re not bad pple.. there are 2 true blue aussie girls, tall, slim and pretty, one Canadian girl (or as my friend says, Canadian chick), and even the Chinese girl is born and bred in Canada. So yea. That makes me the only asian-type person.

Well It’s probably mostly my own doing. I mean pple who know me know I’m not exactly very sociable. I cant just go up and chat up with strangers. It takes me a while to warm up to pple, especially ang mohs. I mean hell how many friends have told me that their first impression of me is that I’m super dao? Once friends, pple realize that I talk a lot and am quite animated and super lame. But in a grp of pple I dun know I’m super quiet.

I guess that as time passes I’ll start feeling less awkward around them… I hope I do.. I hate just standing around smiling, pretending that I’m part of the grp. Plus I’m gonna have to work with them for a long time. But as I stress, it’s not them. In fact they’re pretty nice to me. One of the aussie girls would ask me if I can see from where I’m standing, if I’ve tried cutting etc…

So yea. I guess I have to work on my social skills. But that’s fucking hard cos I’m so antisocial.